


thin skin, bruises, and a cold cup of tea

by GayFrankensteinsMonster



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 16:40:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9132574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayFrankensteinsMonster/pseuds/GayFrankensteinsMonster
Summary: Sleep is for the weak, and Magnus has no weaknesses, except for his own natural curiosity.





	

**Author's Note:**

> SHAME HOUSE SHAME HOUSE SHAME HOUSE I LIVE IN MY SHAME HOUSE  
> i love you all but you make taako and magnus too sad in porn and i just want my boys to be best friends, love each other, live on a nice farm with ten dogs, and also fingerblast each other in kitchens.  
> sorry the setting is sort of ambiguous, i was trying to think of when this would happen and decided in the end, i didn't really care and i just wanted to write weird elf porn. i'm standing in my truth. my tumblr is locus-hocus-pocus if you wanna, i dunno. yell at me for writing bad things

Magnus woke up at four A.M. It wasn’t- He wasn’t panicking, there hadn’t been a nightmare, no one had burst into his room and dropped an elbow on his chest. His sheets were tangled around his legs, and pillows were scattered across his bed. He passed a hand through his hair, blinking up at the ceiling in the dark. Nothing had happened. 

He was just awake. And he knew that no force on the moon was going to knock him back out. Darn. He might as well eat breakfast and get started on his training early. Did he need to put a shirt on for that? Nah. Long as he had pants on- Did he have pants on. He had pants on. Great! He could make himself breakfast and get on his way. He'd check and see if Carey was still down for some thief’s drills, cause that'd be a good change of pace from his standard hacking, whacking, and slashing. Good plan. He was surely going to forget it all and spend four hours buying useless trinkets in bulk at the Fantasy Costco. 

First things first. Breakfast. He could go for grits. And bacon. And a dozen eggs. Did he need to carb-load or protein-load before a workout. Or did he need to skip meals? What was the protocol there. He pondered it as he walked to the kitchen, hand hovering over the lightswitch- 

And was greeted by two glowing specks of light hovering a few feet in front of him. He blinked. The lights blinked. He flicked the switch, and Taako appeared from the darkness. He was sitting crosslegged on the counter, swallowed up in a button-down shirt that was obviously one of Magnus’. There was a mug sitting next to him, and a book on his lap. 

“Mornin’, uh. You’re supposed to not be awake yet.”

“Yeah. Not supposed to be. You wouldn’t know where my one nice shirt went, would you?”

Taako tugged his fingers through his hair, brushing it out over his shoulders. The tips of his ears and his cheeks were dark, coppery freckles standing out. 

“No clue.”

Magnus occupied himself with shuffling through the kitchen cabinets, letting the conversation drift off as he prepared to start cooking. He wasn’t going to ask Taako to help, gods above, no. He could do this on his own, Magnus was a big boy and Taako wasn’t really okay with cooking. Speaking of the devil, Taako had slipped off the counter and was now padding along behind Magnus, shadowing him. He watched as Magnus cooked, tutting and making offhanded comments. Magnus flicked him on the shoulder and leaned against the counter to eat, watching Taako clamber back up onto his perch on the counter. Covering his mouth with the back of his hand, Magnus spoke up through a mouthful of pork. 

“So I’ve got a question about your ears.”

“Yes, they’re big, even for an elf.”

“No, I mean- What are they for? Do you have super hearing?” Magnus lowered his voice, whispering, “Do you- Do you have super hearing.” 

“Fuck right off. They’re more like, I dunno. Cat whiskers. When they’re normal-sized, they help with air currents and, stuff. I don’t know,  _ Magnus.  _ Explain your corneas.”

“Does them bein’ super big cause problems?”

“Yeah. Kinda causes some sensory problems sometimes. I get overloaded easy. And I can’t cover them, cause then I’m sorta running blind, and there’s a whole culture- It’s complicated, man.” Taako shrugged, crossing his legs and picking up his mug. His ears flicked, first one, then the other.

“Do they help with magic?”

“Being an  _ elf  _ helps with magic. You’re nosy today, huh?”

Magnus shrugged, dropping his plate into the sink and washing his hands. He talked over his shoulder, nonchalantly. 

“I just figured that we’ve been friends for a while, so I should. I dunno.” 

“Figure out how my race works. You see how this is weird, man.” 

“Right. I guess so. Sorry.” 

“Nah, kemosabe, you’re fine. C’mere.” Taako waved him over, rolling up one of his sleeves. “You want the dirty elf secrets, come get this.” Magnus crossed the room, standing in front of Taako with his hands deep in his pockets. He wasn’t exactly sure where this was going, but Taako leaned in and snagged one of his wrists. He pressed his hand against Magnus’ palm, splaying his fingertips as Magnus gasped.

“Oh no, oh, look at your tiny hands…”

“Yeah, shut up. See,” Taako turned his hand over, holding it out next to Magnus’ own. He traced his fingers over the inside of Magnus’ wrist, motioning for him to do the same on Taako’s arm. “If you look hard you can see the-” He faltered when Magnus caught his hand and traced the clusters of thin scars up the inside of his forearm. “-The blood, vessels, Mango, you don’t seem interested in the biology I’m layin’ down here.”

“No, I’m listening. Keep talking.” 

Taako swallowed and used his free hand to brush his hair out of his face, tugging his sleeve up more. 

“We’re more naturally inclined to be magical, so, evolution and everything, sort of noticed all that. We’re not as thick-skinned as humans, or, or dwarves, cause we have that natural, um. Magic ability. It’s really noticeable in the, uh, the ears.” 

Magnus made a soft noise in the back of his throat, circling his fingers around Taako’s wrist and looking at the overlap. He didn't consider Taako a very small person weight-wise or anything, even though he was short, but that was a slender wrist. Taako cleared his throat, voice pitching up. 

“So if you're done showing off your fucking meaty mitts-”

“Right, sorry, can I touch your ears?”

“Can you what.”

“Your ears. Cause you get jumpy when people get around them. So I wanted to ask- I wanted to ask, before- Sorry, I haven't had any personal contact in like. A long time?”

“... You're horny.”

“I'm not horny!” Taako snickered, and Magnus huffed through his nose. “I'm serious, I just. I miss touching people.”

“Yeah, cause that's not a weird sentence.”

“Look, yes or no, please?”

Taako blinked and averted his gaze, trying not to meet Magnus’ line of sight. Magnus pressed his thumb into Taako’s palm, watching his face flush darker. He wiggled his eyebrows at the elf, smiling. 

“Hey, don't you- Yes, you can, okay. Jerk.”

“They look soft! I'm not a jerk.”

Taako mumbled something about being overweight and soft all around, and Magnus caught the tip of his ear gently between his fingers. Sometimes it really hit him how different Taako was. Glowing eyes, ruddy freckles, delicate skin, and- Taako was shaking. Magnus focused back on Taako’s face, concerned. 

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Peachy, bubbeleh. You get what “thin skin” sort of means, right?”

Magnus shook his head, tracing his thumb over the shell of Taako’s ear. The red specks on his skin glittered in the light, and damn. That was something. Magnus brushed back Taako’s hair and leaned in, letting out a breath softly. Taako’s ear flapped backwards and he jolted, hands flying up to press against Magnus’ chest. 

“Okay, okay, that’s- Holy hell, that’s a tit. Okay. Sorry, pumpkin, those are super, just. Really sensitive. You get what I’m saying, right? Because you’re just getting handsy and I’m, hm.”

“You’re horny.”

“You know what, you, you,” Taako thumped his fist against Magnus’ chest, fuming. “You’re turnin’ my words against me.” And Magnus laughed, hunching his shoulders and shielding himself from Taako’s blows. 

“I’m kidding! I mean, I’m not kidding, I’m just-” 

“Look, it- My man, I’m gonna be honest here. This is me being a hundred percent right out in the open. ‘Kay? You don’t, like. Do romance. I get you, totally get you, I just don’t want to, make, you- I don’t want to make you uncomfortable!” 

“Oh. No, I understand, don’t worry, um. Umm. Hm.” Magnus rested his hands over Taako’s, drumming his fingers on Taako’s knuckles. “I guess I’m good, if you’re good.” 

“So is that an “I’m going to stop fondling the elf” good, or a-” 

“It’s more- If the elf is okay with it, I think continuing the- The fondling would be good.”

“Fuck me running, would you?”

“I dunno how I’d fuck you running, but-” 

Taako swatted him again, laughing. 

“Shut up! You’re the worst, I swear.”

“Or am I the best?” 

“No, you’re pretty much-” Magnus brought Taako’s hand up to his face, pressing a kiss to the inside of his wrist. Taako swallowed, stuttering a bit. “Pretty much the worst.” Grinning, Magnus slid his grip up Taako’s arm, tugging the fabric of his shirt. “Totally the worst, what are you even doing.” 

“I think I want my shirt back.”

“Tough shit, homeboy, this is mine now.” 

Magnus hummed, slipping his fingers under the open collar and pressing his thumb against the side of Taako’s neck. His pulse thumped under his touch, and Taako shivered as he tugged through his own hair. There was a splatter of freckles on his chest and pale brown stretch marks, trailing down to the first button of the shirt. Magnus thumbed the button with his fingernail, watching Taako clear his throat. 

“Did I say it was mine? I mean, it’s mine until you, like. Repossess it.” 

“You’re good. Mind if I…?” 

Taako nodded, watching Magnus through soft eyes as he unbuttoned his shirt and slid his hands around Taako’s waist. His fingers dragged on the stretch marks on his hips, and Taako flinched. Pausing, Magnus ducked slightly to catch Taako’s gaze again. 

“This okay?” 

“Yeah, sorry, just. I’m cool with my whole body situation, I’m just not sure if anyone else is. Y’know?”

Magnus nodded, leaning in to kiss the middle of Taako’s chest. He let his hands roam downwards, pressing against the front of Taako’s boxers and listening to his breath catch. Hopefully he got the message, that there were no issues to be had here. Well, there were issues, but they were unrelated. Magnus left a trail of light marks up the side of Taako’s neck, cupping his cheek and nipping at the joint where his ear and jaw met. He bruised easy, that was for damn sure. Taako’s hips were twitching up against Magnus’ hand, and he breathed out a soft noise. 

“Wanna run that by me again?” 

“You’re a jackass.” 

Magnus laughed against Taako’s skin, feeling him jerk when his breath hit Taako’s ear. 

“I am, but serious question. How do you get anything done if you're getting off on just. Little touches? Is your secret that you're always horny?”

“Listen, you've got your entire fuckin’ paw on my crotch right now, just-” Magnus moved his fingers to press against him through the fabric, brushing over his clit. “Fuckin’ hell, Mags- It's been a long time. Frankly, I haven't had a lot of people be so, so-”

“So nice?” 

“Yeah. It's usually more, a little more wham, bam, thank you ma'am.” 

Magnus hummed and teased Taako through his boxers, listening to the gasps whenever he moved his fingers. Did he want to be a little mean? He pulled away and slid his hand over Taako’s stomach. Taako honest-to-gods whimpered, his thighs shaking as he pushed his legs apart further. That was fun. Magnus kept kissing Taako’s skin, moving from his jaw up the shell of his ear and looping his arms around him to pull him forward. His hands were roaming again, going from the sides of Taako’s face to his neck to his shoulders and pushing the shirt he was wearing off. When Magnus pulled away Taako was breathing hard, sitting on the counter looking absolutely debauched. He shrugged out of Magnus’ shirt and balled it up to throw at him, trying to be petulant. 

“You are a complete bastard. Do you know how many people would die to even get  _ close _ to this?” 

“No, how many?” Magnus grinned, running his fingers through Taako’s hair and tugging gently. 

“Like, at least one person, I'm not super handsome. Standing sort of in my truth, here.” 

Nodding sagely, Magnus kneaded his thumbs against the bases of Taako’s ears and leaned in to give him a chaste pack on the lips. He didn't have a response for that statement, and had the feeling that it might open up a discussion about something that didn't seem like a fun thing to discuss. So, he abstained and decided instead to pull Taako closer and slide a hand between them to rub between his legs again. 

“Back to the fuckin’ teasing, you know, in my culture, we don't start things that we don't finish.”

“And in my culture we don't fingerfuck elves until we’re sure they're cool.”

“Banter, banter, got it, are you going to do this or can I get off the counter so I can jack off in my room?” 

Instead of responding, Magnus slipped his hand inside Taako’s boxers, two fingers circling over the head of his clit. That got him to sigh and shiver, spreading his legs wider and moving his hips up. Magnus dipped down lower, carefully, calloused fingertips pressing against Taako’s entrance and testing how he felt for him. Pretty good, if the arch of his back and the two hands clutching at Magnus’ hair were any indicator. He was shuddering, eyes squeezed shut and ears flicking with every soft press, like he hadn't done this in a  _ very  _ long time. When he was wholly sure it wouldn't hurt him, Magnus held Taako steady with his free arm looped around his back and slipped inside, fingers curling and thumb still pressed down on his clit. 

“How's that?” 

“If you open your mouth again and it's not to kiss me somewhere, I swear to god I will use every last bit of my power to smite you where you stand.”

Magnus laughed, going back to pressing his lips against Taako’s ear and rocking his fingers gently. Taako was wet, warm, soft, tensing around him and dragging his nails down Magnus’ back. He could hear the whines, and when he scissored his fingers apart gently Taako’s nails bit in deeper into his skin. That's the ticket, then. Magnus sped up a bit, thumb working his clit and telling Taako that he was doing good, that he looked good, felt good. Something caught in Taako’s throat and he moaned, face buried against Magnus’ shoulder as he jerked his hips down. If Magnus was good at reading people, which was a big if, he'd take a guess that Taako was close. Given the thrusts against his hand and the slick noises being made as Magnus fingered him, Magnus wondered. 

He curled his free hand in the hair around the back of Taako’s neck and pulled, tilting his head back so Magnus could latch on and leave a wide, rose-petal bruise on Taako’s neck, right under his jaw. Taako  _ keened,  _ legs snapping shut as he shuddered. And there he was. He felt Taako clench down around him, so Magnus let him peak, rubbing his back and still flexing his fingers inside him. When Taako stopped shaking, Magnus drew his fingers out and rolled them over the head of his clit, watching Taako jump. 

“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, okay, please, really sensitive, here-”

“Can't go again? Not even with your magic elf stamina?” 

“Swear to god, Magnus!” They were joking as Magnus teased another aftershock out of Taako, watching him spasm. And another, and Taako rutted his hips against Magnus’ hand. “Seriously, seriously, I'm good, you can. You can stop.”

Magnus drew his hand out and looked down at his pruned fingers, wondering where they went from this. He settled for wiping them off on the front of Taako’s underwear. Kind of gross. Taako was shaking and sweating, his lips bruised from where he'd been biting them, presumably to keep himself quiet. He tossed his hair back, trying to look proper again. 

“Okay, so, now. What do you want from me.”

“What?” Magnus was confused, trying to work Taako's shirt back up his arms. “I don't- Nothing? I’m good. I just wanted to. Touch. You. Cause, yknow, it's been a while- I'm fine!” 

Taako looked bewildered through the haze, ears flicked downwards. “No, I’d. I'd feel better if you just told me what you want in return, like. I can cook for you, or whatever. I don't like owing people.” He had his hands resting on his lap in front of him, scratching at the side of his wrist. “I don't mind, I just- I don't want to owe you.”

Shaking his head, Magnus carefully pulled Taako’s hands apart from each other, lacing their fingers together. “As far as I'm concerned, you did me a favor. I'm not- It’s okay. You don't owe me. If you really want to, I dunno. Repay me. Can we just sit on the couch and talk or something?” 

“That's it.” 

“That's it. Just talking.”

Taako seemed to consider it for a moment, eyes flicking down. 

“Okay. You are the weirdest guy, yknow?” 

“Oh, sure. And I love you too. C’mon, I wanna learn more about elfs. What's your culture’s post-fingering protocol?”

“Human sacrifice. Sorry it has to end this way.” 

“Aw, dip.”


End file.
